Sunday, January 23, 2011


Okay, it's time for a blast from the past... StarCraft. Okay, first let me go ahead and say, I was never all that good at StarCraft, I mean I was good enough to hold my own in ranked matches, but I never got so far into it that I binded all my keys and started doing old StarCraft pagan  rituals, which, by the way, is how I think all them Asians got so good at it.
Okay, I had a system I used to keep the game at maximum fun levels, but to also keep my Win/Loss ratio good.
Every 5 matches I would just throw a match, go complete troll mode, and make my team hate me more than anybody else. The four matches before this one lucky troll match were of course just me trying my absolute hardest to win and to keep my win/loss ratio strong for more rated matches! You might ask why didn't i just make another account for trolling? Simple, I only want to troll TRY HARDS, and you don't start encountering them until you get a decent rating under your belt! So, I had my work cut out for me! I had to keep my rating up, while trolling people and purposely losing games, but I fought through it!
OH MAN, OH MAN! It's story time! So I was in a 3v3 with some obvious TRY HARDS, their names were, of course, TRYHARD1 and TRYSUPERHARD521. I of course came in with the only race I troll with, Zerglings(ALIENS), TRYHARD1 was playing the Terrans(humans), and TRYSUPERHARD937 was playing the Protoss(high tech super aliens). So I started the game off perfectly fine, started building units and such just like I always do. Now let me tell you the one thing that makes trolling on this game so easy, it's something I like to refer to as Friendly Fire... yeah, that's right. Okay, so as you are on the internet, I am going to assume you have heard the term "Zerg Rush", but in case you haven't, let me lay it on you. A Zerg Rush is when you rush an "enemy" base with an overly zealous amount of Zerglings, oh yeah. So after about 5 minutes of putting all my resources into building Zerglings, I tell my Protoss ally, TRYSUPERHARD836, that I am going to bury some Zergs in base because I feel like they are about to rush him, he of course accepts this very gracious help I am offering. I of course send EVERY Zergling in my arsenal over to his base and let the team attack ensue. I start by destroying all his construction dewds as they die so easily and are so vital to his building process. In this particular game my surprised ally must have been some state of troll induced shock as he didn't even try to defend himself from the onslaught being brought upon him by my ugly lil alien beasts. This was a particularly lucky venture for me as I actually totally knocked out and destroyed TRYSUPERHARD6969LOL, I then sent my forces over to TRYHARD1, and weakened him a bit before all my stuff was destroyed. Unluckily for me, while I was attacking my teammates, the enemies came into my base and destroyed all my stuff, but as I was not trying to win, I was not as upset as you might think. By this point both my "allies" are visibly upset and letting there voices be heard! You might think I am the bad guy here, but let me tell you something! The "enemy" team LOVED me! They couldn't have been happier! To them I was a super hero, I guess you can't please everybody! At least I left my last living ally with some words of encouragement, "Good luck". I can tell he appreciated it.

I am a super hero.

1 comment:

  1. I'm starting to see a pattern here.
    You really don't like those tryhards. On the other hand, you're really fond of dicks. :D