Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Types of games rarely talked about by myself are board games. You might thunk this or because I don't like them, but I can assure you this isn't the case. While it's true that I don't play many board games, it's mostly because I ruin board games for everybody else.
I am a BoardGameTryHard. I have been known to hide pieces, lie, draw extra cards, move extra spaces, and be an outright pain in everybody's ass.

A specific instance was when a few friends of mine asked if we wanted go play Monopoly. We agreed. We played for a good hour and half, I wasn't doing bad, I was probably doing the second best out of the four of us, but this was not good enough for me. So I convinced the group that it was time for us to take a small break. As we all get up, it just so happened that my shirt had somehow caught the corner of the board, and flipped the whole thing. Whoops. While we we're all picking up the pieces I decided to take a special interest in picking up the money, and we decided after the pieces were all picked up, we decided whoever had the most money at the end was the winner...
Guess what, guys?
I'm a winner.

Friday, February 18, 2011


As it turns out I am also a fan of fighting games.
This includes, but is not limited to, mortal kombat, street fighter, marvel vs capcom, and tekken.
I like all these games for the reason of unless you are fighting a very skilled player, all these games are broken.
They are broken in different ways, but they are broken.
I am the guy who plays these games and is constantly thinking to myself, "What is the cheapest possible thing I could do in this situation?" The answer is usually, "Spam.".
Let's take Street Fighter for instance. Just earlier today me and my friend Rob were playing, I play as Ken and he uses Blanka. My strategy is as follows:
1. Haduken
2. Haduken
3. Haduken
4. Jump forward and kick
5. Haduken
6. Haduken
7. ????????

Now, as I am doing this to Rob he is obviously appreciating the amount of skill I am displaying and is congratulating me in such manners as "Oh, that isn't cheap.", "Oh cmon!", "DAH PHAWK?", and "FUCKSHITFUCKSHITCMONDUDE!"

I have to hand it to him though, he never rage quit.

He just quit in a fit of rage.

Monday, February 14, 2011

The World's Most Delightful Troll

As I am sure all you know, trolling is an art, and like any art it is very easily misinterpreted. Also, no troll can troll everybody.
So I started playing a new game yesterday, Bloodline Champions, and with the addition of a new game comes the addition of new people to troll. So I made a false account for this game, to protect my win/loss ratio, and this accounts name happens to be CommunistCock.
So when I find a new game to play, i have to seriously consider the type of people who play this game, and try my best to find the most valuable way of trolling this type of person.
For this game I found the easiest strategy for trolling is probably the most commonly used trolling strategy used, intentional or not, and that is just being bad.
So for a few games I decided to just sit at spawn and talk in chat. One thing I learned very fast is, this game is FULL of try hards. I have never seen so many people rage at losing before. So while I am sitting at the spawn point, earning that MVP title, I am constantly saying in chat, "Cmon guys, get your head in the game!" or "Nugglasident!", which is Cat Meow Meow talk for "Pick it up!".
My allies are obviously grateful for my service as they yell such encouraging things as "Fuck'n noob!", "GTFO SANDBAG", or "Who the fuck still talks Cat Meow Meow??". Some people just don't understand.
I actually was caught by surprise earlier as I was countertroll'd pretty hard.
I came into a game and decided it was time to troll. So I picked my healer and decided it's time to heal... myself.... a lot. The game starts, I tell them both to run in, I am a beast healer and will not let you die... I of course ran in with them, stood behind them, and waited for them to die, but much to my dismay, they would not die. They had actually killed the whole other team by themselves. By this point they have noticed that I am actually not helping the team at all, and yet they are happy. They actually both added me to friends list, and wanted to do more games with me because they said it challenged them more to have a 2v3 but they can't do that without a third who won't help. I was pretty upset by this...

I guess you can't troll them all.

But I do troll them most.