Monday, February 14, 2011

The World's Most Delightful Troll

As I am sure all you know, trolling is an art, and like any art it is very easily misinterpreted. Also, no troll can troll everybody.
So I started playing a new game yesterday, Bloodline Champions, and with the addition of a new game comes the addition of new people to troll. So I made a false account for this game, to protect my win/loss ratio, and this accounts name happens to be CommunistCock.
So when I find a new game to play, i have to seriously consider the type of people who play this game, and try my best to find the most valuable way of trolling this type of person.
For this game I found the easiest strategy for trolling is probably the most commonly used trolling strategy used, intentional or not, and that is just being bad.
So for a few games I decided to just sit at spawn and talk in chat. One thing I learned very fast is, this game is FULL of try hards. I have never seen so many people rage at losing before. So while I am sitting at the spawn point, earning that MVP title, I am constantly saying in chat, "Cmon guys, get your head in the game!" or "Nugglasident!", which is Cat Meow Meow talk for "Pick it up!".
My allies are obviously grateful for my service as they yell such encouraging things as "Fuck'n noob!", "GTFO SANDBAG", or "Who the fuck still talks Cat Meow Meow??". Some people just don't understand.
I actually was caught by surprise earlier as I was countertroll'd pretty hard.
I came into a game and decided it was time to troll. So I picked my healer and decided it's time to heal... myself.... a lot. The game starts, I tell them both to run in, I am a beast healer and will not let you die... I of course ran in with them, stood behind them, and waited for them to die, but much to my dismay, they would not die. They had actually killed the whole other team by themselves. By this point they have noticed that I am actually not helping the team at all, and yet they are happy. They actually both added me to friends list, and wanted to do more games with me because they said it challenged them more to have a 2v3 but they can't do that without a third who won't help. I was pretty upset by this...

I guess you can't troll them all.

But I do troll them most.

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