Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A Brotherly Dicking...umm.. yeah.

My brother is the worst kind of person to play a game with if you intend to do anything but troll.
As it turns out, any action taken in the game that is not a 100% positive for him will begin a cycle of anger and madness that will not cease until the game goes back into his favor.
As of late we have been playing quite a bit of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, which is great for me for two reasons.
1. I am fucking great at Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
2. My brother fucking sucks at Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Now, my brother has a very deeply thought out and planned out strategy that he uses every round.
1.Pick a character with a ranged attack.
2.Shoot projectiles while running from any real combat for as long as possible.
3.Turn around and spam c-stick, which is your strong melee attack.
5.Get fucked.

This is a repeating cycle.
The best thing about him playing cheap characters is that i will often counter-pick with an even more cheap character. This does not sit well with him. He will often get so mad at my projectile spamming that he will throw controllers, turn off the console, curse me, threaten me, pause the game and just stare at me for long periods of time, jump around furiously, and just a wide array of weird things that normal people don't do.

My brother is 21... or 22?, and acts exactly the same as he did when he was 8 when you put a video game controller in his hand.

Yesterday, we were playing SSBB on a custom map I had created, it's basically a big box with only one hole at the top that makes it possible to kill anybody, this is a map of torture as it is far to hard to kill people in this box of dead dreams. As the match started we both jumped into the box of terror and such, and as we entered I started the strategy I intended to keep doing the whole match, shooting him with projectiles from across the map.
It actually got so bad at one point he just paused the game and yelled at me for about 30 seconds, which was just the prelude to even more projectile violation.
After about 10 minutes of just shooting him I decided i was tired of his annoying yelling and squelching and just finished him off, to which he seemed even more upset.

Sometimes I feel like it's far too hard to do the right thing.

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